Tag Archive | mental health

Maneuvering The Journey

Today I start my life anew
Learning from the past
Gathering knowledge
From all I have been through

Release myself from my chains
No longer bound in the depths
Despair will no longer control me
I can see clearly what I have to gain

My feet are planted on the ground
The winds of time may blow strong
I will stand strong with no fear
I know people who care will be around

Taken deep breaths I walk proud again
Secure in the power of my own heart
A journey I must take to further myself
Truth and honesty my solid friends

I know I may stumble and may often fall
I will not quit and will not cry
Hardships will be there but i will succeed
The lesson is in the journey after all

Each small step i take now
I will let my heart guide me
My soul will grow strong
I can maneuver the obstacles
I have learned how

The Truth Version 2

 

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I cannot run from this anymore

Openly I lay my cards out

Who am I?

I do not know

I struggle daily to learn about

What I enjoy?

Truthfully I do not know

My interests fade in and out

What I long for?

I yearn to find my way

Through this rocky water

No more high prices to have to pay

What I know?

This struggle never seems to end

My world is chaotic and unstable

I can never find the words I need to say

Am I worth knowing?

My answer is unclear

I have let people down frequently

The truth of the matter?

I am a broke vase barely pieced together

I am struggling to stay out of the quick sand

Can I handle this journey I am on?

Uncertain I am of my fate

I don’t want to drag those down with me who offer a hand

Only way I know how to cope?

I shut myself off from outside world – always have

Easier to turn off than deal as the pain and hatred

I have for myself is to too raw and too real

How I hide behind the pain?

Working lots and refusing to sit still

Tasks and addictions become my escape

I imagine myself in a better place

Far above the clouds I would soar

Why I end this poem now?

Out of words I have become!!

 

 

 

 

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The Truth

Who am I?

I do not know

I struggle daily to learn about

What I enjoy?

Truthfully I do not know

My interests fade in and out

What I long for?

I yearn to find my way

Through this rocky water

No more high prices to have to pay

What I know?

This struggle never seems to end

My world is chaotic and unstable

I can never find the words I need to say

Am I worth knowing?

My answer is unclear

I have let people down frequently

The truth of the matter?

I am a broke vase barely pieced together

I am struggling to stay out of the quick sand

Can I handle this journey I am on?

Uncertain I am of my fate

I don’t want to drag those down with me who offer a hand

Only way I know how to cope?

I shut myself off from outside world – always have

Easier to turn off than deal as the pain and hatred

I have for myself is to too raw and too real

How I hide behind the pain?

Working lots and refusing to sit still

Tasks and addictions become my escape

I imagine myself in a better place

Far above the clouds I would soar

Why I end this poem now?

Out of words I have become

I cannot deal openly with this anymore!!!

 

 

The Woman I Am Now Vs. Who I Was Before

 Always questioning how I feel

Acting like my answers are not true

Pretending I need them even though not real

My truth is not good enough it seems to be

Why ask I question if you won’t believe?

You cannot judge you don’t know the real me!

Finally found my way back to my true normal self

If you don’t like the person I am now

I can distance myself without regret I know how

Before you utter “you seem off” so casually

Take a moment to understand that I am who I am suppose to be

Gone is the sad girl struggling to stay afloat

Pretending to be happy was difficulty, you see

I have learned to embrace the woman I have become

Letting go of the negativity and aspects that brought me down

Losing all the pain that drained me of enjoyment and fun

Please take the time to understand what I need you to hear

Accept who I am and listen to my truth I speak

Without this our friendship is toxic to both of us

I am strong enough to move on my own

I will walk away to save myself – I will not fear

 

 

 

 

My Addictions

They call to me secretly
Hold me in their spell
Every time I try to ignore
They grab a hold of me

Urges too strong to fight off
My weakness gives in
I hide my actions with shame
Even though I know lying is a sin

They wouldn’t understand why
I would be labelled for sure
Treated like I was broken
Cast aside and forgotten
Oh how this roller coaster makes me cry

It is not like I don’t try to keep the demons at bay
But I am not always strong enough to win the battle
My life itself is like living among land-mines
I never know what will happen emotionally day by day

To actually voice the words “I have an addiction”
Make me want to run and hide
The stigma of this disease leaves a cost I can’t afford to pay
My need for secrecy is based on my pride

Pleas from a Psych Ward

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Secluded in this cold and lonely room

My happiness erased – all that is left is gloom

Nothing I can do except pace the floor

I don’t want to be sick and feel this way anymore

So confused and lost – nothing around me seems real

How am I suppose to control how or what I feel?

Doctors in and out poking and prodding me

Why can’t they just let me be?

Everyone I see has a look of despair in their eyes

Feeling hopeless is something I despise!

Life is supposed to be an adventure full of joy

It seems like a crazy game and I am just a toy!

Screaming voices inside me full of rage, anguish and hate

How can this be my life?

Should I resign to fate?

I am not sure of what happened – what did I do?

How I wish my pain and suffering would be through!!