Where Have All The Manners Gone

Yesterday I was reminded of the difference in generations and the manners or lack of manners in children.

I was in between clients and sitting at the library trying to relax as it was a chaotic day.thinking I would have at least two hours of quiet, I had slipped into the library.

I had been sadly wrong though as a group of children with their teacher had come for a library field trip.  At first, I thought it was cute as the kids were excited but their noise level inside the library increased to the point that all you could hear was their loud almost yelling voices.   What surprised me more was the teacher not teaching  the children and reinforcing the propwe decorum in a library .

I actually had to go outside to hear myself think and do my call ahead to my clients for the afternoon/early evening.

Yes I know kids get excited and it is wonderful that it is about books but there is being excited and then just being unruly. Which brings me to another point, where have all the manners gone?

I have seen children act and get away with things that my generation would never have or even dared to do as we knew the consequences of our actions would be greater than the thrill of attempting it.

When I was a child, I would never have dared to use the vulgarity that I have heard 8 year olds using.  I would never have cut people off when waking or biking especially adults and seniors!’ I was raised to respect my elders and it seems like the children of today have no respect at all.  Here is a sad thought, a generation of future leaders that will show no respect for their peers, parents or grand parents.

I believe that society and government are “coddling” today’s children and if we don’t set the proper ground rules for courtesy, respect and morals – the future will be bleak and our leaders will be corrupt (more so than they already are)

morning

Good Morning!! It is a bright, cool and crisp morning and I am on my way to work (in between clients) on our public transit system.

Trying to make use of the dead time while going from Schumacher to Porcupine, I am fiddling with and brainstorming for my project.  Researching techniques and ideas!!

So far the depression moods have not been too low this morning, which I am always grateful for.

Onward and upward for a busy day

Teaser Quote

In honor of my good mood, the sun shining and a day where I felt flowed effortlessly!!

I am going to give a sneak peak of a quote from my project.

“Sad how the place I used to love became the place I now loathe” image

Diamond of the Day

  • Brilliant sunny day
  • Cool, crisp air
  •  A job I love and clients who teach me everyday 
  • Being done early
  • Sunday Movie dates 
  • A good nights sleep 

Tools for The Journey 

The Muse spoke to me just now and said to share what I do to boost my low days  and fight off the lag my dear acquaintance depression.

    They may not work for everyone but I hope that someone somewhere will be helped by my words.  I know too well how hard the battle with this illness can be and I hope that no one feels they are alone. The more we speak out about it – the more we decrease the stigma.  It is easier to say I know !  I remember the first time I told someone about my depression, it scared me so much and I was terrified of there reaction.  I was worried that they would treat me like I was broken or made of glass! 

    It does get easier though, just the other day I had another first as I had a very low day and could not find motivation or desire to get out of bed!! I did not want to just call in sick as in my profession they ask about symptoms.  I struggled with what to say as I hadn’t told them about the depression, yet! Somehow I got the strength to speak about what plagues me and told them “I have clinical depression and right now I am an emotional wreck and having really low period, need morning off to deal with symptoms!” To my surprise, the only question they asked was “Are you on medication for it?” 

     But onto dealing with symptoms, low periods and days that drain me emotionally.  Remember these are just some tips that may help.

  • I surround myself with positive people and let them know I am having low day 
  • Utilize my support system 
  • Have a hot bath with my favourite bubble bath 
  • Listen to relaxing music in bath and try to sit in silence 
  • If around house, find most positive upbeat music I can on YouTube and blare it 
  • Cuddle with my Favorite blanket 
  • I use affitmations on my phone, computer 
  • Go to my  most favorite place in house – craft room 
  • Treat myself to something nice 
  • Find colourful things to craft or look at 
  • Read funny things 
  • Go for a walk with Shadow (weather permitting)
  • Journaling 
  • Crocheting 
  • Busy and easy work 
  • Bake if i have energy 
  • Put on my favorite socks (comfy ones) and clothes and veg out 

Project Journal – Gloomy Day Blues 

It was a busy day today between working and doing errands on between clients.  

No excuse really for not tackling more of project as no one ever said that juggling reality with a dream would be easy. It is the task of committing myself to the task of setting aside time to work on project that seems daunting to me.  My brain feels over loaded today and it feels like one of those days where being reminded of my own mortality drains me.  It is especially hard when you have a client pass away on you even though you know their pain is over.  Yes. I am a bleeding heart and I feel that there is a strong connection between my clients and myself.  

   People are brought into our lives for a reason and everyone we come in contact with along the path is here to teach us something. At least in my opinion anyway! 

   The weather being so dull and gloomy weighs hard on my depression and all I wanted to do was sleep all day. 

  I treated myself to something special today to cheer me up 🙂

  

Journey of A Million Steps

While working on my new creative endeavor, I had a thought about a personalized project.  Something that will shed light on the ideas, obstacles and daily struggles someone in my position my face. What do I mean by “someone in my position?” you ask?  Let me take a moment and explain for those of you new to my blog!

My constant companions and greatest teachers is clinical depression, which  I was diagnosed with  6 years ago, as well as having generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks.. It has been a very long, hard fought journey and I found bottom at least three times, which is a very dark and lonely place.  Climbing back to a new “normal” is where I learned the most about myself and where the healing began.  Depression and I may never be best friends s but it is always there with me and I have learned to respect it and recognize when I am close to edge.  One of my hopes in this blog and writing experience is to not only help others but heal unknown wounds within myself.

I have written poetry since I was 14 years old, it was my escape and my voice as I was a quiet and timid girl who did not feel her voice was heard or even important.. Poetry has flowed from me like water in a deep river and my dream was to always be published but to a mind that constantly doubts, second guesses and feels inadequate that dream seemed unreachable.  Since I could remember I have wanted to publish and have people read and purchase my work, even though I secretly felt I was not good enough. Constant bouts of “writer’s block”, self-doubt and dry spells have made me turn away from the one thing I had loved and used as a tool for self-expression and healing.

Although I loved and still do love poetry, both reading and writing I thought if I could challenge myself and write a short story that I would be able to somehow break through the blocks and get my name into the writing world.  For those of you who have followed me, you knoe “The Antique House” was my first short story attempt and I published it as an e-book.  It really stretched me out emotionally and creatively as I fought with the inner voice of depression and self doubt, saying “You are not good enough, no one will buy it or read it!” Which is why I choose not to focus right now on sales figures (which I know is zero) because fear of rejection can be crippling and I do not want to let the gift I have been given die.

I walked away from writing for a while, even blogging because doubt and insecurity crept over me and took a hold of my gift as I hit a brick wall creatively. I had honestly given up on the ream of breaking into writing and having any sales on my books and then while walking to work (I work as a Personal Support Worker) I came across a house that I am always drawn to and the idea came over me.

Writing seems to be a l ng process for me and the follow through is even lengthier. As an aspiring writer, I find that there are several steps in the process, which include:

  • The idea phase – that is always I find the easiest – it happens either as a whisper, a dream or an unexpected thought pop up
  • Making time to write – allowing myself “me” time
  • Pushing aside fear and allowing words to flow
  • Sorting out the puzzle and figuring out the style of medium
  • Research, inspiration
  • Creating believable characters
  • Building the story/poem (hardest and longest part)
  • Editing, proof reading, rewriting
  • Second guessing and storing (many times I have to sit on a piece that is incomplete and return to it)
  • Rewriting if needed
  • Finding courage to share my work, words etc.

I could add so many more steps, but I think that my point is made lol. This process is even harder if you do not have a mentor, support system and have a hectic home life. Trying to juggle family and work alone can be a challenge for anyone but trying to balance work, home, dreams and reality can be overwhelming and a but discouraging.

Here is what I do to help keep me grounded and to help the creative juices flowing:

  • Go for walk – reconnect with nature (weather permitting)
  • Take a hot, bath and allow my mind to unwind
  • Search the internet (sounds cliché but sometimes images can spark creativity)
  • Read my favorite authors and visualize the story
  • If nice outside, take pictures sometimes utilizing other creative aspects helps me rejuvenate as well as saves ideas for new projects
  • Finding “me” time whether it is browsing, shopping, spending time with hobbies

—-

Project Journal:

It stumps me how an idea can pop into my head and allow me to start a project so easily but this self doubt can kill me part way into the project.  I am stuck and although I have attempted several times to work on it today, I cannot squeeze anything out of my mind.  It is like I am frozen and this is frustrating and driving me crazy because I can write poetry easily but cannot seem to break past that mold.

For tonight, I put the “baby” (my project) to bed and hope that the muses speak to me tomorrow.  I know I will have to make time as this weekend is my weekend to work and sometimes I tend to neglect my routine and shut off the muses as my body tires easier now.

Easter Teaser

A sneak peak of a work in progress:

She wore white like fresh fallen snow. White                was safe for her like no one could understand.

….

stay tuned

happy Easter everyone

April’s Diamond of The Day

. The doamond of the day for the first 2 days of April aimce I fell behind in March .

For April 1st

The rare occasion when I am home early on a Wesneaday night!!! Home at 730pm instead of 1030pm.

For Aptil 2nd

Besides a nap and shelter from the rain!! The voice of the muse speaking to me !

What is your doamond of the day?