I want to apologize for my earlier rant – I honesty try to usually see the good in people but
it can be difficult when the bad in them hits you upside the face. It is especially hard to
overcome that when one of the triggers of my anxiety disorder and depression is feeling
judged and ridiculed. I am not sure why I am sharing this information, but something struck
a cord in me and said “share this story”. Hopefully, in some small way it helps someone.
I looked through the posts in my reader about poems about depression and people dealing
with mental illnesses and I get such a feeling of connection with everyone who is trying to
“slay this dragon” on top of fighting the sting of stigma from society.
I hope that my stories, poems etc.. help others realize that they are not alone and that
sometimes even a caring stranger can lend an ear.
I want to end this night on a semi=positive note, so I will first say I took a very big step and emailed the person in charge of group and let him know how I felt and declined interest in group. Which I did not do for a response, just to get it off my plate and off my mind – some may say it was on my plate because I wanted it to be there but seriously the baggage is not wanted and not welcome. Believe me, I have enough of my own. I was very proud of myself for how I wrote it and was honest and somewhat diplomatic about it..
But to end of a note of gratituade – here is my cup of gratitude tea
1. A very loving and supportive husband
2. My own inner strength to find my voice
3. My creative muse and angels
4. Divine guidance and support
5. The ability to once again feel happy and excited about aspects of life
6. My dog Shadow – although he is goofy – he is my fur baby (8 years old)
7. Smell of fresh rain on clean grass
8. Moments with my client (83 years old) – I learn more than I can say from her
9. Opportunities that present themselves to me
10. Peace of mind and acceptance for what I cannot change (a work in progress but still workable)
11. All my fans, friends and followers on this blog – THANK YOU…
12. Friends, family and people who make a single appearance
13, Waking up every morning with a chance to start over again.
I never looked at depression as a dragon that won’t be slayed or slain…but you are spot on calling it that. And that dragon does breathe the very fires of hell at times. Thanks for your interesting post. It does help to keep things in perspective; sometimes that alone can be the ray of hope one needs to make it thru a ‘hell’ day.