Archive | March 4, 2013

Her Own Private Nightmare

Her life was so full of vitality

Now life has trapped her in a frail body

Eleqounetly she spoke with pride and grace

Her words now blurred and misunderstood

Life was full of adventure long ago

Now where she is she doesn’t know

Elegant and graceful she danced with ease

Her body now riddled with disease

No one understands the nightmare she faces

Unable to remember people and places

All she wants is to still be treated with respect

But with some of the nurses its not a sure bet



Today I find myself very reflective and evaluating a lot in my life good,bad and indifferent!

There are so many parts that are a blur, so many areas that lost their way and dreams and talents not realized!!

I have made some big mistakes the last few years and are paying for them last few years literally and financially!! I know I could ask for help but then I appear again as disappointment to everyone!!
I refuse to ask for help since I got myself in this mess and no matter what sacrifice I will get out!!

I have a great life otherwise, probably one I may not completely deserve!! I have a loving husband who has stayed by me during the roller coaster of depression and anxiety attacks!!
He hasn’t walked yet, not sure why because I would have but he is stronger than me!!

If i could only manage to find a job that doesn’t cause me so much anxiety and I could keep sane through enough to stay at longer than a year!!
I do have a job I love now but its only part-time!!! If I could get more clients I would be set!!

I am determined to get myself out the mess that I created financially without help – even if that means if it takes a long time and with a lot of sacrifice..  I need to do it on my own so that I have something positive come out of something negative.

The debt is my own and I will get it down.. Even if it means working more than one job!!

Todays Thoughts

As I sit here with my client I am reminded how fragile and frail like can be.
You can go from living a full life and having danced ballet and sang opera to being trapped in your own body 😦
How cruel life can be!!
What must go through ones mind when your words are trapped in your mouth and your body weak and frail.
I hear stories of how active she used to be and what an eventful life she had before the stroke hit her!!
Her family is one of the most supportive people I have met and they have become like family to me!! After a year with this wonderful lady, it feels like a friend or family member I have been caring for!!
I truly believe if people take the time to sit with elderly and listen with your heart, open mind and ears they would truly be changed!

I often find sitting with my lady and talking to her (even though she may not always be responsive) the most enjoyable part of my day!!
It is like catching up with an old friend!!

I so often wish I was hired for longer hours!!