Drawn to the building standing so tall
What are the secrets hidden away after all
What is the voice that beckons to me now
So curious to find out somehow
Through the doors I enter with curiosity
Wondering what stories will unfold in front of me
Drawn to the area I take my seat at the table quietly
Searching through articles and sites to see what I stumble upon
My worries have escaped me, my frustrations gone
My hands type the words freely with ease
The knowledge I am gaining make me feel pleased
Time escapes me and suddenly I am told “5 minutes to go”
Carefully I pack my work again and tuck away the knowledge I now know
To my dear best friend
I write this letter to let
You know how I cherish
Your friendship, even though I don’t
You have truly changed my life
Where darkness and shadows
Once resided solemnly
A light now brightly shines
Gone is the loneliness within
My sad,empty soul
You’ve helped me heal
A wounded heart
In my life you’ll always
Play an important part
From here on out I vow
To show my gratitude sincere
Please know that on my friendship
You can always depend
As long as you need me true
I will always be here for you
To whom it may concern
It has been my lifelong dream to see
Everyone reading poetry written lovingly by me
To whom it may concern
I have always been to shy
Afraid of the judgments
I am not quiet sure as to why
To whom it may concern
My dear best friend encouraged me
Placed vision in my head of how great things can be
To whom it may concern
The words pour out from my very soul
Sometimes so intensely my emotions pay the toll
To whom it may concern
Here I am shakily steeping out of my comfort zone now
I am going to try to be brave, some way some how
To whom It may Concern
Heart it is a racing as I stand here
Can you sense my fear?
To whom it may concern
Please read my poems with care
Feel free to comment, I just ask you be fair
To whom it may concern
I will leave you now to think
I always find that poetry goes best with a hot and frothy drink
To whom it may concern
Just one more thing to say
Thank you for your time on this wonderful day
Now just a magicians trick
I will just fade away.
Raptured by war
Clawed and torn apart
Death a familiar foe
Ashes instead of homes
Stranded – some escape
Not all make it alive
Woman and children
Captured for slavery
Obey or die!
Tortured and raped
Half Beaten to Death!
Silence or Consequence
Cries and screams
No one hears their silent pleas!
Unknown faces no one sees
Stories untold and forgotten
Precious and troubled souls
Endangered by our ignorance
Secluded in this cold and lonely room
My happiness erased – all that is left is gloom
Nothing I can do except pace the floor
I don’t want to be sick and feel this way anymore
So confused and lost – nothing around me seems real
How am I suppose to control how or what I feel?
Doctors in and out poking and prodding me
Why can’t they just let me be?
Everyone I see has a look of despair in their eyes
Feeling hopeless is something I despise!
Life is supposed to be an adventure full of joy
It seems like a crazy game and I am just a toy!
Screaming voices inside me full of rage, anguish and hate
How can this be my life?
Should I resign to fate?
I am not sure of what happened – what did I do?
How I wish my pain and suffering would be through!!
Genuinely gentle and loving soul
Her mere presence could grab at your heart and take control
Youthful spirit, full of energy and light
Just watching could make you laugh, turn dark days bright
Proud you would be to be considered her friend
On her loyalty you could truly depend
Sharing her love with each person she met
Not a single soul who saw her did fret
A secret message she sent to all
“Your life forever changed it will be
Just take the time and come play with me!”
This precious soul left us one, sad fateful day
Leaving us all speechless, at lost for the words to say
Our hearts now contain a hollow voice – its true
Some of us still wonder how we made it through
Never a day goes by she is not on my mind
I know one day we will meet again – a different place and time
When I think I am strong enough to carry on
Something happens to prove me horribly wrong
Each time I try, defeat grabs a hold
Always slipping, I can not get in control
Any step I take, I stumble aimless around
Ending up face first bleeding on the ground
Reaching out for something to grasp onto
My hands are too slippery, the life lines fall through
Yearning for peace and inner strength now
Wanting for the craziness to end somehow
Sanity abandoned me so long ago
Normalcy is not a feeling I know
Outwardly you may see a smile
But inside I am drowning all the while
Unless you know me you’ll never see
The emotional wounds that follow me
Life has been a roller coaster so out of control
Leaving me nothing but I cold, worn and battered soul
Once bound by chains so heavy and tight
Struggling to move and to breathe day and night
So tired, weak and weary from the dreadful fight
Lonely and hollow, felt so alone
My world seemed so dark, empty and cold
No place I had been ever felt like home
Past wounds of all kinds wounded my soul
So terrified of feeling, afraid to trust again
Unable to relinquish the need for control
Tired of this rollercoaster that became my life
Pleading to get off the craziness, wishing it would stop for once
Needing an end to all this pain, darkness and strife
One day I got on my knees and cried for help
At the end of my rope, I made a plea
“Whoever is listening, please help me”
Out of the silence, I heard a voice call to me
“Stand up, my dear you’ll be alright.”
Wiping my tears I looked around to see
No one was in sight – how can this be?
A feeling of comfort swept over me
From that day on, I vowed to start anew
Knowing inside I had what it takes to make it through.
Secretly stalked me year after year
Lurking amongst the darkness and shadows
Haunted my dreams night after night
Robbed my soul of the precious gift of light
Stole my dreams and torn apart all my hope
Ripped my heart out and left it to die
Watched me suffer as I begged and cried
Struck me out of the blue that cold, dark day
I could not fight you off – your message was clear
Although you were silent and did not have anything to say
Turned my world inside out and upside down
Shattered pieces of who I was tossed on the ground
Alone, I struggled to find the strength to carry on
Emptiness was all I had left – everything else was gone
Every step I took forward seemed pointless and long
Day after day, I cried and I prayed
“Please God; help me end this pain today”
Did not think I could make it through each day
But here I am stand fighting this battle my own way
I may not always beat you, but I know I can survive
Day by day, I watch for your presence to be known
I will not let you sneak up again – I will not be thrown
A rollercoaster is what my life has become today
But I am prepared for the highs and lows
I will survive this crazy, neurotic ride – someway
My eyes are open now – I know the chaos you create
I will not sink to your level – I chose not to hate
This journey through hell has a lesson to be learned
Amongst the rubble there are treasures hidden within
I will speak out and have my voice be heard loud and clear
Help others find their way out and no there is nothing to fear
I will stand up and let my secret out – no longer a whisper, it is now a shout
No longer afraid of the stigma – I am here to finally speak the truth
Whether you hear my true message is completely up to you
My name is Melonie and I need to finally say
“I struggle with mental illness – I have always been this way”
For all my peers who fight this fight, know you are never alone
Procrastination is my word for the past weekend! It is every projects down fall and delay as our lives become the whirlwind we are accustomed to – the should haves and the must dos side track our loves, dreams and secret ambitions. We as humans, especially woman (speaking from experience) put everyone else on the “list” ahead of ourselves and we often forget to care and nurture ourselves in the process.
So today while working, I took a moment to do one of the things I truly love besides shopping and that is photography.
So I decided to share my photo journey!!
Stay tuned .. Once I edit them they will be posted..
Today something moved me but not in the usual “inspired” way,it was more a call to action and a summon to voice what couldn’t be spoken!
I walked along my usual path today but was guided by something or someone else’s hand and shown what I (whom tried to brand myself a concerned citizen) had been blind to or previously immune to hearing the message.
Through Divine vision, I was shown the impact that the human race is making in the destruction of the earth, the destruction of wildlife’s habitat and the loss of wildlife due to inhabitable homes as well as pollution from waste and litter. A sadness swept over me as I recalled the beautiful ducks I visited with the other day or the beautiful bird who I befriended. Who sang me her song as I walked to work! I sensed the sadness of these precious creatures at the loss of their loved ones and the loss of their homes. As humans, we know the difficulty that having to relocate can be on our own families especially in a world with so many predators! Animals probably feel same fear and loss as they have souls and are God’s creation just as we are!!
I would hate people throwing garbage in my yard – sadly it’s happened and it makes me livid !! I think we as a human race need to step back and think about how our indifference and poor attitude affects everything from our families and the wildlife families to the future generations that will inherit our mess.
Think twice before you toss the coffee cup in a snow bank, the wrapper on the ground or the cigarette but In someone’s lawn.
There was so much waste rotting away and destroying and littering the homes of Mother Nature’s beautiful creatures that mt heart felt heavy as I saw the destruction through the eyes of the animals and plants that call the area home. It makes me realize how hypercritical people are; since in one breath they show concern and care for rheir off spring however treat the land that their off spring will inherit with such disregard and disrespect
I saw so much litter, cigarette buts, garbage and old rotting furniture that I could have taken hours of photos instead of the half an hour I spent as I walked and was guided by the animals I have com to know along my daily journey. I struggle to express how devastating the outcome will be for our future generations if we continue to treat Mother Nature as our personal garbage can and ashtray.
Hello and good morning or evening!!
I apologize I haven’t kept anyone up to date on project progress last few days but it was my weekend to work, plus was not feeling the greatest!’ I have been fortunate that Sister Muse is guiding my hand and heart today!!! I did some more rough work, brain storming and forced myself to stop while myond was clear!’
I am excited about process and where this journey will take me 🙂
I thought I would share with my readers an ongoing experiment that I started three days ago! It is more an experiment of the social and psychological nature. Don’t worry I diidn’t hook anyone up to electrodes – the only subject was myself!
The thing I am testing or working with is Law of Atrraction and aspects of gratitude in nature- does law of attraction work and is it possible to build a positive relationship with nature.
As many of my readers know, I love taking pictures whether it be with my camera or my phone camera! Truthfully I look for the right photos while I am either at home, on m way to work or just out for a walk.
While the other day I saw a very nice image that would make a great picture! A bird standing In a puddle along a trail – the bird actually stayed very still and allowed me to take shot up close. After I took the shot, I thanked the bird and promised I would bring sunflower seeds next time I was by that area (I am every day) and the other day I kept to my promise and scattered bird seed from one end of the area to the other to be sure that I would reach the bird.
Today while I was walking to work, Mother Nature seemed to thank me as she let me spot two ducks in the creek by the same area, which I of course took a picture of and thanked!! I will of course provide the birds with a treat when I go by next time 🙂
Another part of this experiment started about a week ago, I placed bus fair 2.50 by a bus sign spot in a neat pile and left the Universe in charge of providing it to someone in need! It took about two days for it to be discovered as I checked thoroughly! I thanked the universe for the role it played and prayed that someone in need received it.
Two days after. I received my income tax which we had only filed 5 days before and that is the quickest I ever got money back!
. It was a beautiful day here in Timmins Ontario – we reached 10 degrees Celsius!! A brilliant and beautiful sun lit a blue painted sky while the crisp air danced delicately providing the perfect balance. This kind of day just fills my soul with a calmness and joy!
So tonight as I was winding down and relaxing after working with clients this evening, I heard a very subtle and melodic whisper of a graceful and elegant Muse! Sitting in silence for a few minutes, I heard and felt a push to work on project!! I was able to work on an additional outline of how I want the project to expand!
I am excited that I was able to let my creativity flow and since it is 1030PM and my medication is kicking in, I decided it best to stop after that piece was done and tackle tomorrow with a clear and refreshed mind!’ So I say this simple but heart-felt prayer of thanks to my lovely Muse and dearest friend
Sister Muse I hear your song
My soul obeys and sings along
A gift you have bestowed upon me
The wonderful joy and creativity
Thank for sharing your heart
Your guidance like water to a wilting flower
You are the reason my words have so much power
May your voice be heard forever more
Walk with me till the very end – sweet sister Muse my dearest friend …. amen
Well tomorrow is an early day – up at 6:50am as I have to catch 7:30 bus for my client at 8am! I bid everyone a wonderful evening/morning and/or night depending on where you live😀
Happy beautiful Sunday!!!
It reached 15 degrees Celsius here 😄
it was the perfect day for spring cleaning and airing out the house as I had every window open and enjoying the freshness of the new season! Spring allowed us to remove the staleness of winter from the house.
Unfortunately the Muse was quiet today perhaps to allow newness and the scent of renewal to prevail. It is funny how once you start cleaning, organizing and sorting, it can become a process and a cathartic release. I found it be therapeutic giving my house a once over, fresh start and removing the negative, stale energy of a harsh winter.
I am attempting to kick start my creative juices by redoing the creative outlines of project!’ Hopefully it will bring forth the gift of the Muse and maybe breath life into the project with a renewed spark.
So I am at a stand still creatively – urg!! 😦
Our weather fluctuating and dreary doesn’t help either as the last two days all I wanted do was sleep! We almost had most of snow gone in yard but now blowing snow and crazy wind – suppose to get 10 cm!’
I figured good time to try to de clutter house, hopefully it will help me shake cobwebs. I started with kitchen and organized Tupperware but had to take break due to having a really bad chill and headache.
I set a goal for myself of at least the main floor being done – sorting wise too – keep, donate and garbage. I figure if I can make my house what I want it to be maybe the change will help me emotionally and mentally (concentration wise).
What a wierd day! I feel exhausted and drained even though it wasn’t a crazy and chaotic day! It was sunny but cold outside on the beginning of day and then became overcast.
Weather changes are killer on state of mind and add depression on top of that and I get burned out mentally and emotonally. Today I had a hard time concentrating and staying focused and all I wanted to do is sleep. pushed through morning and evening cliemts but feel like I haven’t slept in days and my body feels trampled on.
The physical symptoms of depression can be worse than the emotional ones somedays and for me they include:
4. Achy muscles
6. Stomach Upset
I try to combat the physical symptoms with vitamins and minerals; such as:
1. Vitamin D
2. Vitamin B12
5. Vitamin C
I have not had the opportunity or stamina to work on project today, which bothers me as a sense of failure and disappointment starts to overtake me. I am feeling frustrated with myself and questioning whether I am ever going to be a popular author or even break successfully into writing business.
I am trying to keep positive and allow the Law of Attraction to bring success and fortune to me but it is hard.
Hopefully tomorrow the Muse will speak to me and allow creativity to flow!!
Good night everyone