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This would be a dream come true to own so many books ...

This would be a dream come true to own so many books …

Drawn to the building standing so tall

What are the secrets hidden away after all

What is the voice that beckons to me now

So curious to find out somehow

Through the doors I enter with curiosity

Wondering what stories will unfold in front of me

Drawn to the area I take my seat at the table quietly

Searching through articles and sites to see what I stumble upon

My worries have escaped me, my frustrations gone

My hands type the words freely with ease

The knowledge I am gaining make me feel pleased

Time escapes me and suddenly I am told “5 minutes to go”

Carefully I pack my work again and tuck away the knowledge I now know

Dear best friend

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To my dear best friend
I write this letter to let
You know how I cherish
Your friendship, even though I don’t
Always show

You have truly changed my life
Forever more
Where darkness and shadows
Once resided solemnly
A light now brightly shines

Gone is the loneliness within
My sad,empty soul
You’ve helped me heal
A wounded heart

In my life you’ll always
Play an important part
From here on out I vow
To show my gratitude sincere

Please know that on my friendship
You can always depend
As long as you need me true
I will always be here for you

To Whom It May Concern

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To whom it may concern

It has been my lifelong dream to see

Everyone reading poetry written lovingly by me

To whom it may concern

I have always been to shy

Afraid of the judgments

I am not quiet sure as to why

To whom it may concern

My dear best friend encouraged me

Placed vision in my head of how great things can be

To whom it may concern

The words pour out from my very soul

Sometimes so intensely my emotions pay the toll

To whom it may concern

Here I am shakily steeping out of my comfort zone now

I am going to try to be brave, some way some how

To whom It may Concern

Heart it is a racing as I stand here

Can you sense my fear?

To whom it may concern

Please read my poems with care

Feel free to comment, I just ask you be fair

To whom it may concern

I will leave you now to think

I always find that poetry goes best with a hot and frothy drink

To whom it may concern

Just one more thing to say

Thank you for your time on this wonderful day

Now just a magicians trick

I will just fade away.

War Torn Lives

Raptured by war
Rebels overtook
Clawed and torn apart
Death a familiar foe
Ashes instead of homes
Stranded – some escape
Not all make it alive
Woman and children
Captured for slavery
Obey or die!
Tortured and raped
Half Beaten to Death!
Silence or Consequence
Cries and screams
No one hears their silent pleas!
Unknown faces no one sees
Stories untold and forgotten
Precious and troubled souls
Endangered by our ignorance

Pleas from a Psych Ward

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Secluded in this cold and lonely room

My happiness erased – all that is left is gloom

Nothing I can do except pace the floor

I don’t want to be sick and feel this way anymore

So confused and lost – nothing around me seems real

How am I suppose to control how or what I feel?

Doctors in and out poking and prodding me

Why can’t they just let me be?

Everyone I see has a look of despair in their eyes

Feeling hopeless is something I despise!

Life is supposed to be an adventure full of joy

It seems like a crazy game and I am just a toy!

Screaming voices inside me full of rage, anguish and hate

How can this be my life?

Should I resign to fate?

I am not sure of what happened – what did I do?

How I wish my pain and suffering would be through!!

Ode to A Lost Friend

Gypsy 1

Genuinely gentle and loving soul

Her mere presence could grab at your heart and take control

Youthful spirit, full of energy and light

Just watching could make you laugh, turn dark days bright

Proud you would be to be considered her friend

On her loyalty you could truly depend

Sharing her love with each person she met

Not a single soul who saw her did fret

A secret message she sent to all

“Your life forever changed it will be

Just take the time and come play with me!”

This precious soul left us one, sad fateful day

Leaving us all speechless, at lost for the words to say

Our hearts now contain a hollow voice – its true

Some of us still wonder how we made it through

Never a day goes by she is not on my mind

I know one day we will meet again – a different place and time

Battered Soul

battered souls

When I think I am strong enough to carry on
Something happens to prove me horribly wrong
Each time I try, defeat grabs a hold
Always slipping, I can not get in control
Any step I take, I stumble aimless around
Ending up face first bleeding on the ground
Reaching out for something to grasp onto
My hands are too slippery, the life lines fall through
Yearning for peace and inner strength now
Wanting for the craziness to end somehow
Sanity abandoned me so long ago
Normalcy is not a feeling I know
Outwardly you may see a smile
But inside I am drowning all the while
Unless you know me you’ll never see
The emotional wounds that follow me
Life has been a roller coaster so out of control
Leaving me nothing but I cold, worn and battered soul

THE ANSWER

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Once bound by chains so heavy and tight
Struggling to move and to breathe day and night
So tired, weak and weary from the dreadful fight
Lonely and hollow, felt so alone
My world seemed so dark, empty and cold
No place I had been ever felt like home
Past wounds of all kinds wounded my soul
So terrified of feeling, afraid to trust again
Unable to relinquish the need for control
Tired of this rollercoaster that became my life
Pleading to get off the craziness, wishing it would stop for once
Needing an end to all this pain, darkness and strife
One day I got on my knees and cried for help
At the end of my rope, I made a plea
“Whoever is listening, please help me”
Out of the silence, I heard a voice call to me
“Stand up, my dear you’ll be alright.”
Wiping my tears I looked around to see
No one was in sight – how can this be?
A feeling of comfort swept over me
From that day on, I vowed to start anew
Knowing inside I had what it takes to make it through.

Silent Stalker

depression

 

Secretly stalked me year after year

Lurking amongst the darkness and shadows

Haunted my dreams night after night

Robbed my soul of the precious gift of light

Stole my dreams and torn apart all my hope

Ripped my heart out and left it to die

Watched me suffer as I begged and cried

Struck me out of the blue that cold, dark day

I could not fight you off – your message was clear

Although you were silent and did not have anything to say

Turned my world inside out and upside down

Shattered pieces of who I was tossed on the ground

Alone, I struggled to find the strength to carry on

Emptiness was all I had left – everything else was gone

Every step I took forward seemed pointless and long

Day after day, I cried and I prayed

“Please God; help me end this pain today”

Did not think I could make it through each day

But here I am stand fighting this battle my own way

I may not always beat you, but I know I can survive

Day by day, I watch for your presence to be known

I will not let you sneak up again – I will not be thrown

A rollercoaster is what my life has become today

But I am prepared for the highs and lows

I will survive this crazy, neurotic ride – someway

My eyes are open now – I know the chaos you create

I will not sink to your level – I chose not to hate

This journey through hell has a lesson to be learned

Amongst the rubble there are treasures hidden within

I will speak out and have my voice be heard loud and clear

Help others find their way out and no there is nothing to fear

I will stand up and let my secret out – no longer a whisper, it is now a shout

No longer afraid of the stigma – I am here to finally speak the truth

Whether you hear my true message is completely up to you

My name is Melonie and I need to finally say

“I struggle with mental illness – I have always been this way”

For all my peers who fight this fight, know you are never alone

 

 

Taking time out

Procrastination is my word for the past weekend! It is every projects down fall and delay as our lives become the whirlwind we are accustomed to – the should haves and the must dos side track our loves, dreams and secret ambitions. We as humans, especially woman (speaking from experience) put everyone else on the “list” ahead of ourselves and we often forget to care and nurture ourselves in the process.

So today while working, I took a moment to do one of the things I truly love besides shopping and that is photography.

So I decided to share my photo journey!!

Stay tuned .. Once I edit them they will be posted..

Nature’s Unheard Screams

Today something moved me but not in the usual “inspired” way,it was more a call to action and a summon to voice what couldn’t be spoken!

When addiction trumps common sense and decency

When addiction trumps common sense and decency

I walked along my usual path today but was guided by something or someone else’s hand and shown what I (whom tried to brand myself a concerned citizen) had been blind to or previously immune to hearing the message.

Through Divine vision, I was shown the impact that the human race is making in the destruction of the earth, the destruction of wildlife’s habitat and the loss of wildlife due to inhabitable homes as well as pollution from waste and litter.  A sadness swept over me as I recalled the beautiful ducks I visited with the other day or the beautiful bird who I befriended.  Who sang me her song as I walked to work!  I sensed the sadness of these precious creatures at the loss of their loved ones and the loss of their homes. As humans, we know the difficulty that having to relocate can be on our own families especially in a world with so many predators! Animals probably feel same fear and loss as they have souls and are God’s creation just as we are!!

I would hate people throwing garbage in my yard – sadly it’s happened and it makes me livid !!  I think we as a human race need to step back and think about how our indifference and poor  attitude affects everything from our families and the wildlife families  to the future generations that will inherit our mess.

Think twice before you toss the coffee cup in a snow bank, the wrapper on the ground or the cigarette but In someone’s lawn.

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There was so much waste rotting away and destroying and littering the homes of Mother Nature’s beautiful creatures that mt heart felt heavy as I saw the destruction through the eyes of the animals and plants that call the area home. It makes me realize how hypercritical people are; since in one breath they show concern and care for rheir off spring however treat the land that their off spring will inherit with such disregard and disrespect

I saw so much litter, cigarette buts, garbage and old rotting furniture that I could have taken hours of photos instead of the half an hour I spent as I walked and was guided by the animals I have com to know along my daily journey.  I struggle to express how devastating the outcome will be for our future generations  if we continue to treat Mother Nature as our personal garbage can and ashtray.

Musings of An Instrument of Sister Muse

Hello and good morning or evening!!

I apologize I haven’t kept anyone up to date on project progress last few days but it was my weekend to work, plus was not feeling the greatest!’   I have been fortunate that Sister Muse is guiding my hand and heart today!!! I did some more rough work, brain storming  and  forced myself to stop while myond was clear!’

I am excited about process and where this journey will take me :)

Law of attraction – ongoing experiment

I thought I would share with my readers an ongoing experiment that I started three days ago!  It is more an experiment of the social and psychological nature.  Don’t worry I diidn’t hook anyone up to electrodes – the only subject was myself!

The thing I am testing or working with  is Law of Atrraction and aspects of gratitude in nature- does law of attraction work and is it possible to build a positive relationship with nature.

As many of my readers know, I love taking pictures whether it be with my camera or my phone camera! Truthfully I look for the right photos while I am either at home, on m way to work or just out for a walk.

While the other day I saw a very nice image that would make a great picture! A bird standing In a puddle along a trail – the bird actually stayed very still and allowed me to take shot up close.  After I took the shot, I thanked the bird and promised I would bring sunflower seeds next time I was by that area (I am every day) and the other day I kept to my promise and scattered bird seed from one end of the area to the other to be sure that I would reach the bird.

Today while I was walking to work, Mother Nature seemed to thank me as she let me spot two ducks in the creek by the same area, which I of course took a picture of and thanked!! I will of course provide the birds with a treat when I go by next time :)

Another part of this experiment started about a week ago, I placed bus fair 2.50 by a bus sign spot in a neat pile and left the Universe in charge of providing it to someone in  need!  It took about two days for it to be discovered as I checked thoroughly!  I thanked the universe for the role it played and prayed that someone in need received it.

Two days after. I received my income tax which we had only filed 5 days before and that is the quickest I ever got money back!

Creatively Listening to Whispering Muse

. It was a beautiful day here in Timmins Ontario – we reached 10 degrees Celsius!! A brilliant and beautiful  sun lit a blue painted sky while the crisp air danced delicately providing the perfect balance.  This kind of day just fills my soul with a calmness and joy!

So tonight as I was winding down and relaxing after working with clients this evening, I heard a very subtle and melodic whisper of a graceful and elegant Muse!  Sitting in silence for a few minutes, I heard and felt a push to work on project!!  I was able to work on an additional outline of how I want the project to expand!

I am excited that I was able to let my creativity  flow and since it is 1030PM and my medication  is kicking in, I decided it best to stop after that piece was done and tackle tomorrow with a clear and refreshed mind!’   So I say this simple but heart-felt prayer of thanks  to my lovely Muse and dearest friend

Sister Muse I hear your song

My soul obeys and sings along

A gift you have bestowed upon me

The wonderful joy and creativity

Thank for sharing your heart

Your guidance like water to a wilting flower

You are the reason my words have so  much power

May your voice be heard forever more

Walk with me till the very end – sweet sister              Muse my dearest friend …. amen

Well tomorrow is an early day – up at 6:50am as I have to catch 7:30 bus for my client at 8am!  I bid everyone a wonderful evening/morning and/or night depending on where you live😀