Drawn to the building standing so tall
What are the secrets hidden away after all
What is the voice that beckons to me now
So curious to find out somehow
Through the doors I enter with curiosity
Wondering what stories will unfold in front of me
Drawn to the area I take my seat at the table quietly
Searching through articles and sites to see what I stumble upon
My worries have escaped me, my frustrations gone
My hands type the words freely with ease
The knowledge I am gaining make me feel pleased
Time escapes me and suddenly I am told “5 minutes to go”
Carefully I pack my work again and tuck away the knowledge I now know
To my dear best friend
I write this letter to let
You know how I cherish
Your friendship, even though I don’t
You have truly changed my life
Where darkness and shadows
Once resided solemnly
A light now brightly shines
Gone is the loneliness within
My sad,empty soul
You’ve helped me heal
A wounded heart
In my life you’ll always
Play an important part
From here on out I vow
To show my gratitude sincere
Please know that on my friendship
You can always depend
As long as you need me true
I will always be here for you
To whom it may concern
It has been my lifelong dream to see
Everyone reading poetry written lovingly by me
To whom it may concern
I have always been to shy
Afraid of the judgments
I am not quiet sure as to why
To whom it may concern
My dear best friend encouraged me
Placed vision in my head of how great things can be
To whom it may concern
The words pour out from my very soul
Sometimes so intensely my emotions pay the toll
To whom it may concern
Here I am shakily steeping out of my comfort zone now
I am going to try to be brave, some way some how
To whom It may Concern
Heart it is a racing as I stand here
Can you sense my fear?
To whom it may concern
Please read my poems with care
Feel free to comment, I just ask you be fair
To whom it may concern
I will leave you now to think
I always find that poetry goes best with a hot and frothy drink
To whom it may concern
Just one more thing to say
Thank you for your time on this wonderful day
Now just a magicians trick
I will just fade away.
Raptured by war
Clawed and torn apart
Death a familiar foe
Ashes instead of homes
Stranded – some escape
Not all make it alive
Woman and children
Captured for slavery
Obey or die!
Tortured and raped
Half Beaten to Death!
Silence or Consequence
Cries and screams
No one hears their silent pleas!
Unknown faces no one sees
Stories untold and forgotten
Precious and troubled souls
Endangered by our ignorance
Secluded in this cold and lonely room
My happiness erased – all that is left is gloom
Nothing I can do except pace the floor
I don’t want to be sick and feel this way anymore
So confused and lost – nothing around me seems real
How am I suppose to control how or what I feel?
Doctors in and out poking and prodding me
Why can’t they just let me be?
Everyone I see has a look of despair in their eyes
Feeling hopeless is something I despise!
Life is supposed to be an adventure full of joy
It seems like a crazy game and I am just a toy!
Screaming voices inside me full of rage, anguish and hate
How can this be my life?
Should I resign to fate?
I am not sure of what happened – what did I do?
How I wish my pain and suffering would be through!!
Genuinely gentle and loving soul
Her mere presence could grab at your heart and take control
Youthful spirit, full of energy and light
Just watching could make you laugh, turn dark days bright
Proud you would be to be considered her friend
On her loyalty you could truly depend
Sharing her love with each person she met
Not a single soul who saw her did fret
A secret message she sent to all
“Your life forever changed it will be
Just take the time and come play with me!”
This precious soul left us one, sad fateful day
Leaving us all speechless, at lost for the words to say
Our hearts now contain a hollow voice – its true
Some of us still wonder how we made it through
Never a day goes by she is not on my mind
I know one day we will meet again – a different place and time
When I think I am strong enough to carry on
Something happens to prove me horribly wrong
Each time I try, defeat grabs a hold
Always slipping, I can not get in control
Any step I take, I stumble aimless around
Ending up face first bleeding on the ground
Reaching out for something to grasp onto
My hands are too slippery, the life lines fall through
Yearning for peace and inner strength now
Wanting for the craziness to end somehow
Sanity abandoned me so long ago
Normalcy is not a feeling I know
Outwardly you may see a smile
But inside I am drowning all the while
Unless you know me you’ll never see
The emotional wounds that follow me
Life has been a roller coaster so out of control
Leaving me nothing but I cold, worn and battered soul
Once bound by chains so heavy and tight
Struggling to move and to breathe day and night
So tired, weak and weary from the dreadful fight
Lonely and hollow, felt so alone
My world seemed so dark, empty and cold
No place I had been ever felt like home
Past wounds of all kinds wounded my soul
So terrified of feeling, afraid to trust again
Unable to relinquish the need for control
Tired of this rollercoaster that became my life
Pleading to get off the craziness, wishing it would stop for once
Needing an end to all this pain, darkness and strife
One day I got on my knees and cried for help
At the end of my rope, I made a plea
“Whoever is listening, please help me”
Out of the silence, I heard a voice call to me
“Stand up, my dear you’ll be alright.”
Wiping my tears I looked around to see
No one was in sight – how can this be?
A feeling of comfort swept over me
From that day on, I vowed to start anew
Knowing inside I had what it takes to make it through.
Secretly stalked me year after year
Lurking amongst the darkness and shadows
Haunted my dreams night after night
Robbed my soul of the precious gift of light
Stole my dreams and torn apart all my hope
Ripped my heart out and left it to die
Watched me suffer as I begged and cried
Struck me out of the blue that cold, dark day
I could not fight you off – your message was clear
Although you were silent and did not have anything to say
Turned my world inside out and upside down
Shattered pieces of who I was tossed on the ground
Alone, I struggled to find the strength to carry on
Emptiness was all I had left – everything else was gone
Every step I took forward seemed pointless and long
Day after day, I cried and I prayed
“Please God; help me end this pain today”
Did not think I could make it through each day
But here I am stand fighting this battle my own way
I may not always beat you, but I know I can survive
Day by day, I watch for your presence to be known
I will not let you sneak up again – I will not be thrown
A rollercoaster is what my life has become today
But I am prepared for the highs and lows
I will survive this crazy, neurotic ride – someway
My eyes are open now – I know the chaos you create
I will not sink to your level – I chose not to hate
This journey through hell has a lesson to be learned
Amongst the rubble there are treasures hidden within
I will speak out and have my voice be heard loud and clear
Help others find their way out and no there is nothing to fear
I will stand up and let my secret out – no longer a whisper, it is now a shout
No longer afraid of the stigma – I am here to finally speak the truth
Whether you hear my true message is completely up to you
My name is Melonie and I need to finally say
“I struggle with mental illness – I have always been this way”
For all my peers who fight this fight, know you are never alone
I know that there has been a prolonged absence and I hope that no one felt deserted or forgotten – nothing was done in malicious intent and no one was maant to feel forgotten!!
The simple truth is life got in the way as working two jobs, daily living and trying to find balance as well as dealing with depression sometimes bcomes overwhelmingly for me and things get forgotten. Plus I was still working on my short story/book called “The Antique House” and for awhile hit a bit of a block. The process is flowing better and it is winding down and I can’t wait for it to be finished.
I hage been freting about how this would turn out as it is my first short story and want everyone to like it but also hope to get good feedback that is respectable but I had a voice tell me that the completion of the project and the process is more important than the reviews and my own criticism.
So I am going to embrace the experience and follow the journey.
So many reasons for me to go
Too much buried pain
Breaking my fragile heart
So many reasons that I should stay
Too many memories hidden inside Questions to answers
That I need to know
Mind and my heart at constant war
Push and pulled in so many directions
Losing the grip on my control
Why are these emotions want to over flow?
All I ever wanted was your heart
Just for you to really see me
Love me for who I am inside
Not who you wish I would become
Long ago I saw in you a tenderness
There was something magical and rare
The man you were so beautiful
Is the one my heart does miss
Now all that’s left is emptiness
Hollow words spoken to appease
My heart has grown cold
Apologies grow weary and old
Cannot breath and cannot sleep
Everything runs wild in my mind
Memories trap me In a frozen state
Would have done anything for you
Gave up my dreams as sacrifice
Your happiness my one concern
Here I stand lost worn through and through
Too tired to run and too tired to fight
Obligation my cold,dark prison
Every day I feel like I am suffocating
But I can’t place blame for this pain
Since I stay and let myself drown
The games never stop they just go
Round and round
What happens when the choice you make leaves you down?
In the beginning did not see the signs
Who could I have been so blind?
Once I looked at you in awe full of hope
Now the only feeling I get makes me choke
How do I stay with you when all I see is red?
You have completely messed with
My heart and head
Every time you touch me my skin crawls
Guess for you i am only something to control after all
Why did I let you in? I do not know
Should never have settled for first one to ask
Guess the prison is mine – punishment will last
Things could have been so different
All I asked was to be first and for you to care
How can I be angry for you having a weak mind?
So easy you let others change you every time
You let others corrupt what could have been great
I really have nothing left for you
No respect for what you became now
We cannot fix it this time
Damage is done
It is too late to care
Too late for sorry – an empty word
Too late for forgiveness
The thoughts have flown away like birds
Too late to change – you cannot stop
Too late to try to grow a flower in a rotted pot
Too late for me to leave – where would I go?
Too late for blame – we both played this sorry game
Too late to climb back on top – i am too low
Too late to complain – no one really hears
Too late to cry out about my fears
I shut that voice down long ago
Too late to end this match – we both have not won
Too late to change my mind
You are not my friend and lover
You are a dangerous foe
Originally posted on Morsels :
This weekend had been one if fun, housework and whispers from my Muse (Thank you Sister Muse) so I was able to tap a few words together for the Antique House as well as come up with some other ideas that I will release to you when time is right!!
I have decided to run a little contest to see which of my fans is truly following my blog and reading through Antique House chapters I have shared!!
The winner will get a preview of the last chapter of the Antique House rmailed to them!!
1. It is not to be shared as book still in progress
2. One entry only
3. Be creative but clean with answers please
4. Have fun
5. Question is:
What do you think a) my favorite things are b) favourite foods are and c) What do…
View original 19 more words
I have discovered that I am on my own journey in this part of my life and finding my own true voice. It seems that things that In the past I have tolerated now are driving me insane, whether it be about my husband, people in general or my environments.
It aeems I am now having to get reacquintanted with people who have always been in my life as the person I am now! It is challenging in the least but I was always tokd that anything worse having is worth workin for, so here I am re-discovering and learning.
My new personal moto is “Perfectly Imperfect” – I am who I am!! I am the best me that I can be!!
I realize it has been awhile since I left an update about the status of “The Antique House” and I apologize for the delay – working another job especially during holidays for others creates a more hectic work environment. Not that I am complaining because more hours means more hours :)
I am slowly working away at the book and there has been a few times where I had to step away and work on a new project as the creative process seemed to hit stand still. But the show must go on in order to persevere. I have to admit this is the first time I have worked on a short story as was too afraid too previously. I think I was afraid that the words would not flow and no one would read it.
But the best way to beat fears is to face them head on and be able to stand in centre and say “I tried”.
Ready the tools to complete the task
Leaving the most favourable ones to last
Infuse your soul with joyful sounds
Allowing each musical beat to surround
Tune out the world in all it’s chaos
Let your mind wander – it is okay to get lost
Unearth the memories buried by time
Let the words flow free – who cares if they rhyme
A cup of a favourite beverage to help recharge
Remember you can succeed – the accomplishment will be large
Let the Muse whisper sweet nothings in your ear
Her words will create masterpieces so do not dear
Set aside block of time each day
This is how you will make your own way
I am compelled to share a story – some mat relate and others may simply chuckle but what you take from the story is purely up to you!
We all in some way or form have those moments where frustration boils inside us and its usually over something small or best laid plans going awry. What to some may be something insignificant was probably our hardest moments with greatest pride.
Here goes my “sob” story so to speak that I just had to share. I was working on a writing prompt exercise and was going smoothly – words were flowing from somewhere deep inside almost as if they were going through me. This for me is a true gift of Divinity as I often find myself blocked by my need for perfection. I found that writing prompts and applications on phones sometimes help create good creative flow. I had utilized an application called writing.com prompts and it had helped stir up juices. My exercise was going so well and I was almost complete – oh did I mention I utilized my notepad application on I-phone!
So here I was nearing the finish line – just about to post for all you to view and then suddenly and of course by accident I hit the delete icon on my notepad. Poof hard work gone in an instant touch – so here is my moral paper as a wise friend told me is “your friend”!
Oh and of course I forgot to write down the prompt and did not remember to save the prompt either – so the muse is gone, the work gone and O don’t remember what I wrote because it felt like didn’t come from me.
So alas back to my old and reliable friends paper and pen I will go – I know on them I can depend!
The trail is there i can see so clear
What stops me is the voice of fear
Uncertain turns and bends in the
What if the burden is too heavy a
Destination unknown blind I would
What lies hidden up ahead for me
Could I stand the struggle and
Survive a fall
If I don’t take the road and let
chance slip away
Could I forgive myself for never
knowing what could have been
Or would I live to regret the choice
Answers they say are inside us
Questions are all I can hear now
So many choices and directions
Plaqued by the uncertainty
Echoing inside my mind
Do I stay or go?
Lead or simply follow?
All I know to tell you upon my exit
The true answer to pass along
All I can say is I do not know
I close my eyes now in prayer
Divine guidance will lead the way
Where I will end up only Angels
What lies ahead is planned by
Universal flow and will
I strap myself in as could be a
All I Know for sure without a
A Divine being is on my side
Happy Monday Everyone!! I decided before I start working on my book :The Antique House” that I would take the opportunity to wish everyone a great day and rest of week. It was a muggy, humid day here with periods of rain. A busy day working with Red Cross Care Partners, but I love every minute of it as I know this is my calling :) I truly believe that this is what I am meant to do, beside writing I mean. Every time I interact with a client, I feel closer to the Creator or Universal Consciousness and I know that I am doing his work caring for the most valuable teachers we have in this world – our seniors and elderly have so much to teach if we listen with our hearts.
I wanted to gift a surprise for all my followers and those awaiting the publication of my book, so I decided I would share an exert l chapter, but I will not tell you what chapter it is from :)
Here is a teaser excerpt for all my loyal fans..
In beginning, there were so many time contrasts and obstacles making it hard for them to figure out the rhythm of their relationship. Their courtship had went from spending as much time together as they could fit in to phone conversations every second night. The distance and void were felt by both Melinda and Jobe and it was creating them to slowly drift apart. To Melinda, she always felt torn between her work obligations and getting quality time with Jobe, even though a part of her had lost her passion for her job. Jobe was always busy working for the farmer he rented off and although he loved the fresh air and outdoors – it began to feel less like home and more like a lonely building.
Hope everyone has a great week – it is time to get working on the craft.. I will be posting more book reviews shortly. So stay tuned..