Drawn to the building standing so tall
What are the secrets hidden away after all
What is the voice that beckons to me now
So curious to find out somehow
Through the doors I enter with curiosity
Wondering what stories will unfold in front of me
Drawn to the area I take my seat at the table quietly
Searching through articles and sites to see what I stumble upon
My worries have escaped me, my frustrations gone
My hands type the words freely with ease
The knowledge I am gaining make me feel pleased
Time escapes me and suddenly I am told “5 minutes to go”
Carefully I pack my work again and tuck away the knowledge I now know
To my dear best friend
I write this letter to let
You know how I cherish
Your friendship, even though I don’t
You have truly changed my life
Where darkness and shadows
Once resided solemnly
A light now brightly shines
Gone is the loneliness within
My sad,empty soul
You’ve helped me heal
A wounded heart
In my life you’ll always
Play an important part
From here on out I vow
To show my gratitude sincere
Please know that on my friendship
You can always depend
As long as you need me true
I will always be here for you
To whom it may concern
It has been my lifelong dream to see
Everyone reading poetry written lovingly by me
To whom it may concern
I have always been to shy
Afraid of the judgments
I am not quiet sure as to why
To whom it may concern
My dear best friend encouraged me
Placed vision in my head of how great things can be
To whom it may concern
The words pour out from my very soul
Sometimes so intensely my emotions pay the toll
To whom it may concern
Here I am shakily steeping out of my comfort zone now
I am going to try to be brave, some way some how
To whom It may Concern
Heart it is a racing as I stand here
Can you sense my fear?
To whom it may concern
Please read my poems with care
Feel free to comment, I just ask you be fair
To whom it may concern
I will leave you now to think
I always find that poetry goes best with a hot and frothy drink
To whom it may concern
Just one more thing to say
Thank you for your time on this wonderful day
Now just a magicians trick
I will just fade away.
Raptured by war
Clawed and torn apart
Death a familiar foe
Ashes instead of homes
Stranded – some escape
Not all make it alive
Woman and children
Captured for slavery
Obey or die!
Tortured and raped
Half Beaten to Death!
Silence or Consequence
Cries and screams
No one hears their silent pleas!
Unknown faces no one sees
Stories untold and forgotten
Precious and troubled souls
Endangered by our ignorance
Secluded in this cold and lonely room
My happiness erased – all that is left is gloom
Nothing I can do except pace the floor
I don’t want to be sick and feel this way anymore
So confused and lost – nothing around me seems real
How am I suppose to control how or what I feel?
Doctors in and out poking and prodding me
Why can’t they just let me be?
Everyone I see has a look of despair in their eyes
Feeling hopeless is something I despise!
Life is supposed to be an adventure full of joy
It seems like a crazy game and I am just a toy!
Screaming voices inside me full of rage, anguish and hate
How can this be my life?
Should I resign to fate?
I am not sure of what happened – what did I do?
How I wish my pain and suffering would be through!!
Genuinely gentle and loving soul
Her mere presence could grab at your heart and take control
Youthful spirit, full of energy and light
Just watching could make you laugh, turn dark days bright
Proud you would be to be considered her friend
On her loyalty you could truly depend
Sharing her love with each person she met
Not a single soul who saw her did fret
A secret message she sent to all
“Your life forever changed it will be
Just take the time and come play with me!”
This precious soul left us one, sad fateful day
Leaving us all speechless, at lost for the words to say
Our hearts now contain a hollow voice – its true
Some of us still wonder how we made it through
Never a day goes by she is not on my mind
I know one day we will meet again – a different place and time
When I think I am strong enough to carry on
Something happens to prove me horribly wrong
Each time I try, defeat grabs a hold
Always slipping, I can not get in control
Any step I take, I stumble aimless around
Ending up face first bleeding on the ground
Reaching out for something to grasp onto
My hands are too slippery, the life lines fall through
Yearning for peace and inner strength now
Wanting for the craziness to end somehow
Sanity abandoned me so long ago
Normalcy is not a feeling I know
Outwardly you may see a smile
But inside I am drowning all the while
Unless you know me you’ll never see
The emotional wounds that follow me
Life has been a roller coaster so out of control
Leaving me nothing but I cold, worn and battered soul
Once bound by chains so heavy and tight
Struggling to move and to breathe day and night
So tired, weak and weary from the dreadful fight
Lonely and hollow, felt so alone
My world seemed so dark, empty and cold
No place I had been ever felt like home
Past wounds of all kinds wounded my soul
So terrified of feeling, afraid to trust again
Unable to relinquish the need for control
Tired of this rollercoaster that became my life
Pleading to get off the craziness, wishing it would stop for once
Needing an end to all this pain, darkness and strife
One day I got on my knees and cried for help
At the end of my rope, I made a plea
“Whoever is listening, please help me”
Out of the silence, I heard a voice call to me
“Stand up, my dear you’ll be alright.”
Wiping my tears I looked around to see
No one was in sight – how can this be?
A feeling of comfort swept over me
From that day on, I vowed to start anew
Knowing inside I had what it takes to make it through.
Secretly stalked me year after year
Lurking amongst the darkness and shadows
Haunted my dreams night after night
Robbed my soul of the precious gift of light
Stole my dreams and torn apart all my hope
Ripped my heart out and left it to die
Watched me suffer as I begged and cried
Struck me out of the blue that cold, dark day
I could not fight you off – your message was clear
Although you were silent and did not have anything to say
Turned my world inside out and upside down
Shattered pieces of who I was tossed on the ground
Alone, I struggled to find the strength to carry on
Emptiness was all I had left – everything else was gone
Every step I took forward seemed pointless and long
Day after day, I cried and I prayed
“Please God; help me end this pain today”
Did not think I could make it through each day
But here I am stand fighting this battle my own way
I may not always beat you, but I know I can survive
Day by day, I watch for your presence to be known
I will not let you sneak up again – I will not be thrown
A rollercoaster is what my life has become today
But I am prepared for the highs and lows
I will survive this crazy, neurotic ride – someway
My eyes are open now – I know the chaos you create
I will not sink to your level – I chose not to hate
This journey through hell has a lesson to be learned
Amongst the rubble there are treasures hidden within
I will speak out and have my voice be heard loud and clear
Help others find their way out and no there is nothing to fear
I will stand up and let my secret out – no longer a whisper, it is now a shout
No longer afraid of the stigma – I am here to finally speak the truth
Whether you hear my true message is completely up to you
My name is Melonie and I need to finally say
“I struggle with mental illness – I have always been this way”
For all my peers who fight this fight, know you are never alone
I realize it has been awhile since I left an update about the status of “The Antique House” and I apologize for the delay – working another job especially during holidays for others creates a more hectic work environment. Not that I am complaining because more hours means more hours :)
I am slowly working away at the book and there has been a few times where I had to step away and work on a new project as the creative process seemed to hit stand still. But the show must go on in order to persevere. I have to admit this is the first time I have worked on a short story as was too afraid too previously. I think I was afraid that the words would not flow and no one would read it.
But the best way to beat fears is to face them head on and be able to stand in centre and say “I tried”.
Ready the tools to complete the task
Leaving the most favourable ones to last
Infuse your soul with joyful sounds
Allowing each musical beat to surround
Tune out the world in all it’s chaos
Let your mind wander – it is okay to get lost
Unearth the memories buried by time
Let the words flow free – who cares if they rhyme
A cup of a favourite beverage to help recharge
Remember you can succeed – the accomplishment will be large
Let the Muse whisper sweet nothings in your ear
Her words will create masterpieces so do not dear
Set aside block of time each day
This is how you will make your own way
I am compelled to share a story – some mat relate and others may simply chuckle but what you take from the story is purely up to you!
We all in some way or form have those moments where frustration boils inside us and its usually over something small or best laid plans going awry. What to some may be something insignificant was probably our hardest moments with greatest pride.
Here goes my “sob” story so to speak that I just had to share. I was working on a writing prompt exercise and was going smoothly – words were flowing from somewhere deep inside almost as if they were going through me. This for me is a true gift of Divinity as I often find myself blocked by my need for perfection. I found that writing prompts and applications on phones sometimes help create good creative flow. I had utilized an application called writing.com prompts and it had helped stir up juices. My exercise was going so well and I was almost complete – oh did I mention I utilized my notepad application on I-phone!
So here I was nearing the finish line – just about to post for all you to view and then suddenly and of course by accident I hit the delete icon on my notepad. Poof hard work gone in an instant touch – so here is my moral paper as a wise friend told me is “your friend”!
Oh and of course I forgot to write down the prompt and did not remember to save the prompt either – so the muse is gone, the work gone and O don’t remember what I wrote because it felt like didn’t come from me.
So alas back to my old and reliable friends paper and pen I will go – I know on them I can depend!
The trail is there i can see so clear
What stops me is the voice of fear
Uncertain turns and bends in the
What if the burden is too heavy a
Destination unknown blind I would
What lies hidden up ahead for me
Could I stand the struggle and
Survive a fall
If I don’t take the road and let
chance slip away
Could I forgive myself for never
knowing what could have been
Or would I live to regret the choice
Answers they say are inside us
Questions are all I can hear now
So many choices and directions
Plaqued by the uncertainty
Echoing inside my mind
Do I stay or go?
Lead or simply follow?
All I know to tell you upon my exit
The true answer to pass along
All I can say is I do not know
I close my eyes now in prayer
Divine guidance will lead the way
Where I will end up only Angels
What lies ahead is planned by
Universal flow and will
I strap myself in as could be a
All I Know for sure without a
A Divine being is on my side
Happy Monday Everyone!! I decided before I start working on my book :The Antique House” that I would take the opportunity to wish everyone a great day and rest of week. It was a muggy, humid day here with periods of rain. A busy day working with Red Cross Care Partners, but I love every minute of it as I know this is my calling :) I truly believe that this is what I am meant to do, beside writing I mean. Every time I interact with a client, I feel closer to the Creator or Universal Consciousness and I know that I am doing his work caring for the most valuable teachers we have in this world – our seniors and elderly have so much to teach if we listen with our hearts.
I wanted to gift a surprise for all my followers and those awaiting the publication of my book, so I decided I would share an exert l chapter, but I will not tell you what chapter it is from :)
Here is a teaser excerpt for all my loyal fans..
In beginning, there were so many time contrasts and obstacles making it hard for them to figure out the rhythm of their relationship. Their courtship had went from spending as much time together as they could fit in to phone conversations every second night. The distance and void were felt by both Melinda and Jobe and it was creating them to slowly drift apart. To Melinda, she always felt torn between her work obligations and getting quality time with Jobe, even though a part of her had lost her passion for her job. Jobe was always busy working for the farmer he rented off and although he loved the fresh air and outdoors – it began to feel less like home and more like a lonely building.
Hope everyone has a great week – it is time to get working on the craft.. I will be posting more book reviews shortly. So stay tuned..
Another beautiful day outside in Timmins, Ontario – a break in the crazy humidity which makes it all that more nice as it is easier to breathe and think when you are comfortable. I wanted to take this opportunity to once again thank all my fans and followers for your support, encouragement and words of positive criticism – you make a difference in my life. So for all my Canadian followers – I want to take this opportunity to wish you a Happy Canada Day !!! May you have a wonderful and blessed day off – filled with good memories!! Be safe and have fun!!!
For all my American followers, if I do not remember to post on the fourth of July – I wish you a happy Fourth of July in advance!! Have a wonderful, safe and blessed holiday and thank you again for all your support and encouragement.
Well, I should get to the business of working on a new Chapter of “The Antique House: Book One” (http://meloniesmorsels.wordpress.com/2014/05/31/the-antique-house-chapters-one-to-four/). I am thoroughly enjoying undertaking this project as it is a new start for me because I am not used to writing stories as my strong suite has always been poetry, which you can see on the blog as well as on my e-book called “Wings of Hope” !!
Before I answer to the muse’s call, I want to leave you with a quote from a wonderful book I am reading at this time (ok I have three on the go – hehe)..
“We fear discovering that we are more than we think we are. More than our parents/children/teachers think we are. We fear that we actually possess the talent that our still, small voice tells us. That we actually have the guts, the perseverance, the capacity. We fear that we truly can steer our ship, plant our flag, reach our Promised Land. We fear this because, if it’s true, then we become estranged from all we know. We pass through a membrane. We become monsters and monstrous.”
― Steven Pressfield, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks & Win Your Inner Creative Battles
Another evening ends in a good and seni-productive day – it was beautiful here in Timmins Ontario today.
The perfect day to be mindful and take in the beauty that surrounds, as well as eat watermelon. Okay confession, i pigged out onbit but U did shade with my dog Shadow – I coukdn’t say no he was sitting all handsomely. I took some nice pictures that I will post probably tomorrow as here it is 10:10pm and 6:30am comes quick.
I plugged away a bit on “The Antique House” but had to stop as my eyes were sore (cannot waif to gef new glasses) and I needed to recharge my brain and step away from story as was hitting dry spell. Another confession, I have high standards for myself and I kept erasing as I wrote as didn’t sound right!
Well, I wish you all a great night!!
Hello my lovely fans and followers!! I hope everyone is having a wonderful evening – here it is 10:33pm EST and I am just finishing up another chapter on my book and winding down for evening.
It was a productive day for writing as I had gaps in between clients during the day and wonderful quiet moments in evening to weave the tapestry of my characters’ lives into a chapter full of surprises.
Thank you again for a wonderful supportive community.
While working this morning and on my way to my clients house, I took the opportunity to practice mindfullnesss!!
it is amazing what nature shows you when you take the time to watch it in its splendor and glory. So often we are so much in a hurrying life that we miss the beauty all around us, we are stuck in our heads and so caught up in the drama and tribulations that are made to help us grow spiritually that we miss the forest for the trees. We pray for miracles and signs of God’s existence but do not open our eyes and hearts enough to see ones presented to ourselves daily!
i have been guilty of this myself and I know that dealing with depression’s lessons have taught me many things and one of them is to live in the now. yesterday happened and it cannot be written over and there were many hidden blessings and lessons and tomorrow is a clean slate for new lessons and focusing too much on tomorrow takes away from the beauty, wonder and lessons for the present!
This is what I saw walking around this morning, two birds (I believe sparrows) playing with each other as they flew around. I watched them fly for 5 minutes as they spread their wings, dove and soared back and forth. It truly was a heart warming experience to witness and enjoy!’
Well time is slipping away from me and I must continue my work on the book, while i have time before my last client!
I bid thee all adieu!
Hello everyone! I hope everyone. Is having a wonderful evening/day!
While i was finishing up Chapter Five of “The Antique House” I thought I would take a moment and share the most beautiful view I saw looking out my window. Hopefully it will help prove as awe inspiring to you as it was to me.
Here is a question, I invite everyone to answer – what is your sacread place in your home? What room stimulates your creativity? Do you have a special place for your writing? Any special rituals?
My office/craft room is being reorgabized and I am in process of doing major clean sweep,so I find at night in bedroom is my space for now. Wheb my room is dne, I will share photos with everyone!!
So here is the view of a beautiful picture – enjoy!!